Posts Tagged ‘the hubby’
Take me out to the ballgame
Nov
For the first time in my entire life I have become (somewhat) interested in baseball. I actually watched the majority of the World Series and the games leading up to it. Some of them I even watched on my own! FREAKY, I know! I hardly even recognize myself. A couple of years ago we went to a Yankees/Red Sox game in NY, which was a lifelong dream of the hubby’s. The significance of the event was completely lost on me. All I could think about was how blasted hot I was, and should I eat another hot dog?
I happened to marry an enormous Yankees fan. Well, just a huge sports fan in general, but the Yankees are one of his favorites. I’ve always been of the opinion that baseball is b-o-r-i-n-g, especially on TV. I usually enjoy watching most other sports, but baseball made me all sorts of irritated and antsy and sleepy, all at the same time. I think a big part of it is that I don’t understand the rules or strategies at all. It took me years (literally, years) to figure out what a first down in football was (I swear I’m not stupid, just uninterested…or so I’d like to think). Once I finally figured out what all these “downs” the announcers were talking about I started to enjoy football a whole lot more.
Now that I’m starting to get a tiny inkling of the strategy of baseball its become more interesting to me. I think the fact that it was the playoffs helped a lot. I also think I’ve gained an appreciation for it because its a great source of background entertainment when you have a toddler. It doesn’t require a whole lot of concentration or thinking, and I can even look away for a few minutes to attend to the wee one and when I look back, the same guy is still up to bat! I haven’t missed a thing! Ever tried to watch Lost or something while taking care of a toddler on your own? DOESN’T WORK.
Anyway, since I still am pretty clueless about baseball in general, I tend to pepper the hubby with questions. You know, intelligent ones that any guy would want to answer during a game, such as:
“What’s that little phone they talk on all the time?”
“Why is he called a ‘manager’ and not a ‘coach’? That doesn’t make sense… all the other sports teams have coaches.”
“Why do the pitchers sit somewhere else?’
“Why do they have to make the uniforms so unflattering?”
“Its raining! Why don’t they all wear long sleeves?”
“How many pitchers does the team have, anyway? Seems like a lot.”
“Doesn’t it hurt their elbow to throw that hard?”
“Why does Derek Jeter have such an ugly haircut?”
“Why is he the closer? Is it because he’s a dependable? Or just really good? Or both? Is he your favorite?”
“Ew, why do they have to spit so much?”
“What do all those numbers mean?”
“And those numbers…?”
“Who’s that guy?”
“And who’s that guy? Is he good?”
“What about that guy, who is he?”
Yep, my husband is a lucky man indeed to have his wife join him for the games.
All you other guys should be SO jealous.
Like clockwork
Nov
Men are so weird.
I grew up in a family with all sisters, no brothers, so I don’t think I really got the full idea of how guys are. Sure, my dad lived there, but he was my dad. Needless to say, getting married was a pretty big eye opener for me. And I’ve had it easy, my hubby is generally very well mannered and not the usual gross boy.
One thing I’m still discovering, after 3 years of marriage, is that men are nothing without their routine. If one thing gets off in their personal schedule the whole day might as well go down the drain.
This morning the hubby and I were up a little early due to the fact we are still adjusting to daylight savings. As a result, he could get ready for school at leisure and had plenty of time before he had to leave. Normally he doesn’t eat breakfast because he tries to sleep as long as possible before he absolutely must get up and get ready. But today, I assumed he would want breakfast since he had time, and who wouldn’t want to eat when given the opportunity? I know that I always look forward to my next opportunity to eat. You know, like a normal person.
Except when I asked him what he wanted for breakfast he said wanted nothing. Nothing? Huh? He said he had to leave for class. “But you don’t have to leave for at least another 10 minutes. That’s plenty of time to down a couple of Eggo’s!” I insisted. He said he didn’t want to rush. “Well then, just grab a quick bowl of cereal. You don’t want to be hungry, do you?” I pressed. No thanks. “Are you nuts? Why on earth would you willingly go hungry for the next 3 hours?” I couldn’t understand this crazy man’s logic.
Finally he came clean with a sigh, “I don’t want to throw off my schedule. If I eat now, I’ll have to eat lunch early, and then I’ll be hungry in the afternoon.”
Me: *Blink…blink* “So, eat a snack in the afternoon. It makes no sense to go hungry if you don’t have to.”
Him: “No, I want to eat just 3 meals a day. I have to stick to the schedule.”
Seriously, this logic is completely baffling to me. I have no eating schedule. I eat when I’m hungry, I don’t eat if I’m not. I eat when food is available, I don’t eat if there isn’t any. Simple as that. And since I know you’re dying to know, same with my bathroom habits. I go when I need to, and don’t go if there is no need. Logical, right? No schedule. I’m footloose and fancy free!
Crazy hubby, on the other hand, has an iron-clad bathroom regimen, especially in the morning. If things don’t go according to schedule, his whole day is off. Apparently his eating habits must go as planned too. And I know his sleep must stay on schedule. If he gets more than 30 minutes off for even one night he wakes up the next morning insisting he is getting a cold due to lack of sleep. Personally, I think it’s all in his head.
Are all men like this? Are women like this too and I’m just the weird one??
