Mommy By The Book » love

Life goes on

Rachel — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 03:50:27 +0000

So the last few weeks have been…overwhelming. In case you are wondering, trying to find a nanny sucks. Like I want to spend my evenings conducting interviews, you know? We decided on hiring a girl, offered her a job on a Sunday, told her she’d start on Wednesday, and thought everything was just dandy. On Tuesday afternoon she emails me to tell me she decided to take a different job. Uhhhh….? NOT COOL.

After a few days of scrambling while the husband started his new job, we managed to hire another girl. So far, all is going ok. It is an adjustment, to say the least. For starters, it is odd having a complete stranger in my home while I’m not there. I will tell you though that it has motivated me to keep a cleaner house, so that is good! But more importantly, it is a big adjustment for Claire. She did pretty well the first week, but I think she got confused by the weekend and is struggling a bit this second week. It’s pretty safe to say that my heart broke into about 8,000 pieces as I walked out the door to the sound of her crying this morning. Ah, I hope this period in our lives is short lived!

It is always a challenge to find a New Normal. We’ve done it over and over again since having a child through job changes, class schedule changes with a new semester, etc. It is never easy. But it is times like these that force us to pull together as a family and teach us to rely on one another, to communicate, to trust, to appreciate good friends and loved ones, and to value the precious time we have with one another. How lucky I am to have a sweet little family to make this all worth it!

Wherein I am put in my place by a toddler

Rachel — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 23:01:51 +0000

The conversation in the car today with the 3 year old:

Claire: “I want a hamburger!”

Me: “Sorry sweetie, we are going to eat at home instead because you didn’t obey me at Grandma’s house and pick up your toys when I asked.”

Claire: “I want a hamburgerrrr!!!”

Me: “I know, but I told you we could get one if you were obedient and picked up your toys, but you didn’t listen to me and had to go to time out instead.”

Claire: “But I don’t want to eat at home! I want a hamburger!”

Me: “Sorry honey, we’ll get one another time. I still love you though.”

*silence*

Claire: “I love Daddy.”

Where I belong

Rachel — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 22:17:40 +0000

I have never lived by the beach (which is a sad, sad thing) but I’ve always felt as though that is where I belonged.

And then I went here, and thought that this is surely where I belong:

 (Picture not taken by me...obviously)

But I don’t live near either of these places. I live at the foot of the mountains. And this last year, I’ve come to discover that I love my mountains just as much as I love the big city and even the beach. However, my love for the mountains was grown in the summer when we could do all manner of outdoorsy adventures such as biking, hiking, and roasting marshmallows. Then the snow came down and all our mountainous fun was ruined. And yes, skiing and snowboarding are always popular winter sports and I live among the best snow on earth, but that sort of activity takes $$$$. (And it secretly has always kinda scared me, even after taking lessons.)

A couple of days ago we went up into the high Uintas with my family to stay at a cabin and go snowmobiling.

And you know what I discovered? I love the mountains in the winter too. (As long as I’m wearing 40 layers of clothing)

I was overwhelmed by the sense of solitude and peace…and the beauty!

I also discovered that a bundled up two year old in winter clothes is adorable:

You see this picture right here? You see that look in her eye? PURE MISCHIEF:

Now if only some billionaire wanted to give me a cottage on the beach, an apartment in NYC, and a cabin in the mountains, my split personality could finally be at peace.

Birthday boy

Rachel — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 23:58:44 +0000

See this dude right here?

Back off ladies, that’s my husband. He’s pretty awesome.

Yesterday was his birthday. He turned 30. Thiiiirrrrttyyyyyyy. He likes when I say it nice and slow like that, to really appreciate the sound of it. He also likes when I say things like, “The big 3-0, huh? Wow!” and, “Man, the next big one will be FORTY! Crazy!”. Makes him feel special.

It can be difficult hitting those “milestone” birthdays. It always makes us reflect on what we’ve done with our lives up to that point and compare it to the ideals we have in our heads. I think most of us are a little too tough on ourselves.

Even though my husband may not think he’s accomplished/become all that he thinks he should, I think he’s pretty great. For example, he makes the best mashed potatoes. Plus, he smells good. And he has a really cute smile. That’s practically the perfect man!

In all seriousness though, I am really lucky. He is an incredibly loving person. He finds joy in making me happy and in spending time with his family, and that’s a wonderful thing. No one can make Claire shriek and laugh with happiness the way he can. He has the utmost patience as a father, and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. He cooks dinner for me almost every night, and cooks breakfast for me too if we’re both home in the mornings. (I know, I’m so spoiled). He encourages me to relax and does everything he can to make that possible, because he knows I’m a stress-case. He laughs at my jokes, which is amazing in itself. He’s manly but sensitive, thoughtful but fun, and my very best friend.

He treats me like every day is my birthday, and I couldn’t ask for more. I can’t wait to spend the next 30+ years together.

Sweet dreams

Rachel — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 19:01:10 +0000

One of the biggest challenges we’ve faced with our daughter is sleep. She is over a year old now, and still rarely sleeps through the night. At one point, as an infant, she would often wake up 6+ times a night. As you can imagine, we felt like zombies. And believe me, we tried everything, at least it seemed that way. She just isn’t a good sleeper, end of story.

The hubby and I often fantasize about sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep… An uninterrupted eight hours of blissful shut-eye…

But, you know what? These days, I don’t really mind getting up with my little girl at 4:00 in the morning. I groan as I hear her cries floating from the other room, mentally willing her to just go back to sleep. I sigh as I roll out of bed. Now that it is getting colder leaving my warm bed carries even more of a sting than it did before, and I groan again.

I stumble into my baby’s room, one eye barely cracked as I approach the crib, where she is standing with arms outreached for me. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but scoop her up with her beloved blankie and sit down to rock her in the dark.

It’s a rare and precious moment. She is still- something that never happens through the course of the day anymore. I cuddle her, my arms full of baby. I look at her long legs draped across my lap, her feet dangling off the edge, and I think about how she used to fit on just one arm of mine.

We rock quietly, and I can hear her give a deep and contented sigh. Her soft body rises and falls with her breaths, and without realizing it I rock to the rythm of her breathing.

When I can tell she is good and sleepy, I carefully stand up to place her in her crib, whispering “night-night” to her again before I tip-toe out.

As I slide back under my comforter, I feel relieved that she is asleep and cross my fingers she will stay in that state for a few more hours. At the same time though, I am grateful for the peaceful moment spent together in the dark. I feel a warmth spread through me as I recall her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks, the shape of her mouth as she drifts to sleep.

Sometimes, when she does sleep through the night, I miss her.

She won’t need me for much longer. Eventually she will be a “big girl”. Independent, unafraid, and happy to be on her own. And when that happens, I will probably lie awake at night, wishing I could go in to cuddle her in the quiet darkness.