Posts Tagged ‘love’
Sweet dreams
Oct
One of the biggest challenges we’ve faced with our daughter is sleep. She is over a year old now, and still rarely sleeps through the night. At one point, as an infant, she would often wake up 6+ times a night. As you can imagine, we felt like zombies. And believe me, we tried everything, at least it seemed that way. She just isn’t a good sleeper, end of story.
The hubby and I often fantasize about sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep… An uninterrupted eight hours of blissful shut-eye…
But, you know what? These days, I don’t really mind getting up with my little girl at 4:00 in the morning. I groan as I hear her cries floating from the other room, mentally willing her to just go back to sleep. I sigh as I roll out of bed. Now that it is getting colder leaving my warm bed carries even more of a sting than it did before, and I groan again.
I stumble into my baby’s room, one eye barely cracked as I approach the crib, where she is standing with arms outreached for me. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but scoop her up with her beloved blankie and sit down to rock her in the dark.
It’s a rare and precious moment. She is still- something that never happens through the course of the day anymore. I cuddle her, my arms full of baby. I look at her long legs draped across my lap, her feet dangling off the edge, and I think about how she used to fit on just one arm of mine.
We rock quietly, and I can hear her give a deep and contented sigh. Her soft body rises and falls with her breaths, and without realizing it I rock to the rythm of her breathing.
When I can tell she is good and sleepy, I carefully stand up to place her in her crib, whispering “night-night” to her again before I tip-toe out.
As I slide back under my comforter, I feel relieved that she is asleep and cross my fingers she will stay in that state for a few more hours. At the same time though, I am grateful for the peaceful moment spent together in the dark. I feel a warmth spread through me as I recall her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks, the shape of her mouth as she drifts to sleep.
Sometimes, when she does sleep through the night, I miss her.
She won’t need me for much longer. Eventually she will be a “big girl”. Independent, unafraid, and happy to be on her own. And when that happens, I will probably lie awake at night, wishing I could go in to cuddle her in the quiet darkness.
