I Lost My Love in Baghdad

By Michael Hastings

(Image from Amazon.com)

I smashed it into my bulging suitcase and eventually got around to reading it this last month.

The book is a true story about a young Newsweek reporter that went to Iraq to cover the war.  Shortly before leaving for Iraq he fell in love with a girl back home.  They carried on a long-distance relationship  under difficult circumstances, until she decided to go to Iraq herself as an aid worker.  Once there, tragedy struck and she was killed.  (Spoiler, I know, but the book jacket tells you that anyway, so it’s not exactly a surprise.  If you want to know how she was killed I’ll leave that for you to discover if you choose to read it.  Very sad.)

The book is…different.  The writing style is something I definitely am not used to in a novel.  The author is a news reporter, and the story was told as a news story, basically chronicling a series of facts and events.  I’m used to metaphors and more introspective focus from novels.  At first it really irritated me, but I got used to it after a bit and didn’t notice quite as much.  The only place where it really bothered again me was the final chapters when the author was detailing hearing about his girlfriend’s death and the aftermath.  I certainly got the feeling that he was distraught, but for such an intensely emotional experience, the writing failed to convey the emotions experienced, leaving the whole story feeling rather hollow.

I did learn an awful lot about the war in Iraq, and holy smokes what a mess. Truly, a nightmare.  When reflecting on the story I often felt quite guilty.  As Americans we are so sheltered!   We were (and still are) a country at war, and yet my life has not be changed one bit.  At one point I noticed the date in the chapter heading, “August 2006″, and reading about all the horrors experienced by the soldiers and civilians in Baghdad.  August 2006 was the month I got married.  There I was, blissfully planning my wedding, going on a honeymoon, enjoying the best things in life and completely ignorant of the fact that there was a war being waged- by my own country- on the other side of the world!  It blows me away.

Overall, would I recommend this book?  Meh.  It was ok.  The story itself was very interesting, and I learned a lot, but the writing just wasn’t captivating enough to keep me enthralled for a whole novel.  Sometimes I felt like I was slogging through chapters, waiting for the “good stuff” instead of being on the edge of my seat.  I did appreciate that the author was able to create a lasting tribute to his girlfriend, who was unjustly and tragically killed in an ugly and terrible war.  Hopefully her memory, and the memory of all those who have lost their lives from war, can live on.

Recently we took turns reading Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.  People, read this book.  I let it sit on my nightstand for weeks, procrastinating cracking it open.  The thought that it was a true story kind of turned me off.  There was no way it could be as interesting as the other books I had read, right? Wrong.  Truth is often stranger than fiction, and this book was outstanding.

Just a little background- Greg Mortenson was a nurse by trade, but his passion was mountain climbing.  In the 90′s he attempted to scale K2 in Pakistan, the second highest summit on Earth.  His attempt failed, and he ended up getting lost in just about the most unforgiving wilderness on the planet.  He was saved by poor Pakistani villagers and discovered they had no school for their children.  Despite the fact that he had no money himself he promised he would build them a school.  That promise has turned into a lifelong quest to help bring education and hope to impoverished villages in the Middle East, which in turn has promoted peace for the entire world.

The crazy thing is that this guy was building schools in the area- for girls, no less- during the rise and power of the Taliban.  Educating girls was unheard of, and what he did to make it happen was extraordinary.

One of Brady’s professors last semester talked about this book, saying that it should be required reading for every student in America.  The book has actually become required reading in many universities and government organizations.  The book is well written and tells the story simply and clearly, without any agenda or strong bias.  However, it taught lessons of perseverance, tolerance, sacrifice, hope, love, the value of education, and so many other things.  I learned so much about the people of that region.  I will admit that there have been times when I have been frustrated hearing about the ongoing war in Afghanistan and have thought that we should just give up and let them destroy themselves.  This book reminded me that there are so many good people there.  Sadly, there is also a lot of evil and hatred born in that part of the world.  But there are even more good, kind, hard-working, peace-loving people who are victims of poverty and war.  I wish so much there was more I could do to help them.

There were parts of the book that just blew my mind and parts that broke my heart.  Mortenson was in Pakistan on 9/11, and the response of the people in the villages brought me to tears.

I can only hope to be as brave and selfless as Greg Mortenson and the poor villagers in Afghanistan and Pakistan who are trying to make the world a better place.  I think this book offers valuable lessons on war and peace and what it means to really be a hero.

Have you read this book yet?  If so, what did you think?

But we’re not here to discuss The Kite Runner today.  I want to talk about Hosseini’s second book, A Thousand Splendid Suns.

I do a lot of reading, and there are a lot of books that I don’t feel are worthy of typing out a full review.  But people, I finished this book two weeks ago, and I am still thinking about it.  That is the sign of a great book.  (By the way, I am not reviewing this book for any sort of compensation.  I just liked it so much that I thought y’all might like a good book to read too!)

The story covers the lives of two women in Afghanistan over the span of about 30 years.  It starts out a little slow, but eventually picks up the pace.  The author does a fantastic job of developing his characters and allowing you to feel a connection to them.  Hosseini does an even better job though of immersing you in the Afghan culture.  I must admit that I know very little about Afghanistan or other countries in the Middle East.  Ever since reading these books by Hossieni, my husband and I have been utterly fascinated with the culture in that part of the world.  Hosseini gives you a glimpse into the culture that I don’t think would be possible to obtain another way other than physically visiting the country.

If you are looking for a light-hearted book, this is not the one.  Many of the scenes are positively heartbreaking as Hosseini unfold a story about war and a society that does not value women.  I was often horrified to realize that while the story itself is fiction, these events really are taking place with real people on the other side of the world.  I actually feel the author is doing a great service to Afghanistan by writing such compelling books about it and bringing attention to the people there.  The country is not full of terrorists as the media would portray.  There are good people there who are victims of warlords and extremist ideas and a repressive society.

I gotta say, this book really made me appreciate my own life and especially my husband.  I often stopped to reflect on how very fortunate I am to live in a country where I can dress how I want, marry who I want to, go to school, hold a job, vote, and basically do whatever  the heck I want!  (aaannd…cue patriotic music in the background!)

Hosseini is a beautiful writer, often able to convey a complex idea or feeling in just a short phrase.  To me, the writing itself is just as important if not more important than the story line.  I think that is often the difference between an okay book and a great book, not to name any names…*cough* TWILIGHT *cough*…So far the author has only written two books, but I am anxiously awaiting for his next one to come out.  I would read anything he writes.

While the book was often sad and disturbing, I did really enjoy the ending…but I’m not going to say why!  You’ll have to find out for yourself.

The book is for a more mature audience.  There are a little bit of swearing, some sexuality, and some graphic images of war.  However, if you are looking for a book that will change your perspective and stay with you long after you finish it, I highly recommend A Thousand Splendid Suns.

However, I have never been a good with keeping a budget.  While I am always careful, I am not exact in my spending.  I could be more disciplined.

In fact, I need to be more disciplined.

The husband and I have goals.  A house that isn’t attached to someone else’s house, for example.  A garage (there aren’t many things I hate more than scraping ice off my windshield in the morning when it’s 2 degrees outside).  Not having both of us work full-time.  Taking our kids to the beach as they grow up.  A trip to Europe someday, hopefully.

Right now we live comfortably, if not lavishly.  But we have some debt weighing us down.  We both work- a little too hard it feels like at times.  I’d like to change that.  I’d like to get us to the point where our debt is gone and eventually I can stay home with my kiddos.

So, in order to accomplish this (as well as one of my new year’s resolutions!  I’m really sticking to them!), I’ve decided to start reading Miserly Moms: Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy for some tips on how to reach my goal.  So far I’m intrigued…and a little scared.  I see where the author is coming from, but can I really do it?  It’s not exactly easy, but it may be worth it.

Do you have a budget?  If so, how do you manage to stick to it?

I think my anxiety is compounded by the fact that last semester I took a basic nutrition class, which was interesting and informative, but it has me all worried about eating a balanced, healthy diet.  It has me even more worried that I am not providing my daughter a balanced and healthy diet, because surely she needs it more than even I because she is growing and developing, and what mother doesn’t want her child to have every advantage possible in this difficult world?

My nutrition book often touched on the fact that after 6 months of age a child’s iron stores can become depleted and it is often worsened by having a milk-heavy diet.  Toddlers tend to love milk, and will often fill up on that rather than eat their meals.  While little ones need several ounces of milk a day, it shouldn’t be their main food source anymore.    Sometimes I’ll watch Claire drink her milk and the words milk-heavy diet… milk-heavy diet…will circle in my brain, causing me to get all sorts of knots in my stomach and wondering  whether or not she is depleting her iron stores that very moment and will soon become anemic.

So, I picked up a book at the library and dove in.  For this installment I’ve decided to read the book Feeding: The Brazelton Way, by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D.  Dr. Brazelton is a tenured pediatrician and a Clinical Professor of Pediatrics Emeritus at Harvard Medical School, and Dr. Sparrow is an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, so I’m assuming these guys know their stuff.  They’ve written several other books on topics such as sleeping, soothing a fussy baby, potty training, etc.

Speaking of people named Sparrow…did you hear that Nicole Richie had a baby boy and named him Sparrow- as his first name? No offense if you decided to name your litlle boy Sparrow, I’m sure he’s a gem, but I think that poor kid is headed for some wedgies and good poundings on the playground due to his sissy name.  Anyway, enough of potentially offending people.  Back to the subject…

So I’m about halfway through the book and there have been some good tips and interesting thoughts, as well as a few things I think may not apply to all babies.  Dr. Brazelton starts out by talking about the importance of using feedings as a valuable time to bond and interact with your baby and to help further their development.  He mentions that as the child grows and begins to feed himself, the parent may have a difficult time letting go and allowing the child independence during feedings, but it is important to do so.  I will admit that while I sometimes love that Claire can feed herself and can eat a variety of foods, I often miss the quiet times we had on the couch together where she would grip my thumb and little finger with her tiny hands, eyes half closed, as I fed her a bottle.  I loved being able to put her over my shoulder and snuggle with her as I patted her back.  She still gets a couple of bottles a day, and I adore that rare time when she’ll sit contentedly on my lap without squirming to reach or grab or crawl away.  I love seeing her so relaxed, eyes half closed again, clutching and rubbing her blankie as I feed her a bottle.  She can hold her bottle on her own, but I love holding it for her.  I dread the day when I have to take away the bottle completely and those sweet, quiet times will vanish. Throughout the book Dr. Brazelton frequently touches not only on the child’s ongoing development with the feeding process, but on the parent’s as well.  I have a lot to learn about letting my baby grow up.

Oh dear, speaking of my baby, it sounds like someone is awake.  I’ll have to dive into this later.  Stay tuned!