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By Rachel, on December 6th, 2010
I’ve had so many good intentions over the last several days, and yet this here bloggy has been a bit light in the posting department. I’m sure all of you have been wringing your hands and asking, “Why? Oh, why hasn’t there been a new post? Whatever shall I read?”. Well, have no fear! I am here to post about not posting! Quality stuff, I tell ya.
While brushing my teeth or showing in the morning I get all sorts of fantastic post ideas, including a title and pictures and the whole she-bang! But then as the day goes on it turns out there is actual work to be done (I know, lame) and a child to be fed and a house to be cleaned and a husband to be fawned over and before you know it, I’m plum worn out. Plus, I would like to include a picture in the post (that still exists only in my head), but that would require the camera that is upstairs, which would require hauling myself back up the stairs, requiring energy (you see where this is going?). So in the end, not a thing gets accomplished.
And then there’s all this pressure- a post must be witty! And moving! And informative! And creative! And all manner of wonderfulness! The pressure, I assure you, it’s crippling.
But really, despite all my laziness and insecurities, I did fully intend on writing something worthwhile (*ahem* unlike this post), and then the heavy hammer of disappointment came down upon my head, and I felt the need to wallow in it. And wallowing in disappointment does not lend to blogging, my friends. You see, I’ve spent the last month interviewing for a particular job. It wasn’t my dream job, necessarily, but the commute would’ve been so nice and it was something I was experienced in and comfortable with and felt would be a good thing. So I did my research, went through four (4) lengthy interviews, completed an extensive background check, sent emails to five (5) different references requesting they fill out a survey about me, and totally thought I had it in the bag. I was well qualified and really seemed to hit it off with all six (6) of my various interviewers. “Easy-peasy!” thought I, “I’ll have a sweet little commute instead of this tortuous, soul-sucking slog through miles of construction in no time!”.
And then, what did appear in my inbox this last Thursday but a general email of rejection thanking me for my time and admirable talents and informing me they’ve decided to go with another candidate.
Well!
So, wallow I did. It wasn’t so much that I was devastated about not getting my dream job, because it wasn’t my “dream job”. I already have a perfectly adequate job where everyone is very nice. It just might have been a more enjoyable and convenient job, I suppose. It’s just…I don’t know, the rejection? The fact that I really did my best, and really thought I would do so well at the job, and it turns out I wasn’t good enough? Maybe the fact that I put so much time and energy into the process, and didn’t even receive a phone call and instead got a generic email? Bah! Who knows?
In the end though, I am very fortunate. I have a job, a decent one, and that’s a lot more than many people are able to say, so I should be grateful. The wallowing in self-pity was short lived.
Since the pity-party ended quickly, a blog post should’ve been born, right? Wrong. Instead, my body decided to give up on its defenses and went and got sick. I woke up at 3 AM a couple nights ago coughing and choking uncontrollably every time I tried to take a breath. I got up to get a drink, only to be consumed by the most unsettling feeling of a racing heart, a cold sweat, a queasy stomach, and a spinning head and spent the rest of the weekend in such a state. The husband and I are both mystified as to how I seemed to get violently ill in a manner of minutes and then have it linger.
So hopefully this odd little post will suffice until an actual post with substance can be created and we can all be friends again. Deal?
By Rachel, on November 30th, 2010
Two is full of change and discovery, learning and development.
Two is riddled with stories- some shocking, some funny, some touching, some cringe-worthy.
Two is the beginning of power struggles and, “No! I do it!”.
Two is an exhaustingly bottomless pit of energy and enthusiasm.
Two is constant, adorable chirping about anything and everything- “Look, mama, I have socks! White socks! And pants! And a hippo shirt! Ooh, I like it!”
Two is tantrums when over-tired or hungry or just, well, being two.
Two is a supreme lesson in patience and anger management.
Two is also a lesson in instant forgiveness after hearing the humble pleas of “mommy?” from the time-out chair.
Two is spontaneous I-love-yous and sloppy, heart-melting kisses.
Two is frustration at knowing what you want, but not how to make it happen.
Two is songs and nursery rhymes lisped to a rapt and appreciative audience.
Two is a blossoming imagination.
Two is the discovery that this little person is also, at times, a pretty good friend.
Two is being able to somehow survive on Goldfish crackers and yogurt.
Two is learning how to let go of the baby and embrace the little girl.
Two is attempting to soak up every cuddle and lullaby, because they are becoming limited.
Two is fun and maddening and exciting and heart-breaking in so many ways.
Two is, undoubtedly, the best of times and the worst of times all rolled into one.
By Rachel, on November 24th, 2010
Every year for the past few years I have gone on a mild rant around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I vowed that I wouldn’t this year, that I would spare people my bitter screed, but my fingers are twitchy and I just. Can’t. Help. Myself. Aaagghh!! I’ve tried to let it roll off my back, to not worry about it, to realize that no one will change because of me, but so help me, here it goes:
Both my husband and I have worked retail during the holiday season. It’s miserable. Fortunately, I haven’t had to do it for years, because if I had to do it now I really might have to be sent to the nut house. The Christmas season – the glorious, peaceful, joyful, sparkly, lovey Christmas season- has been turned into an uncontrollable feeding frenzy for stuff. It hurts my heart. And in the spirit of consuming, saving, buying, MORE MORE MORE- Thanksgiving has been sacrificed. My mailbox is bursting with “Black Friday” ads. There are signs in store windows advertising their hours- “Open at 3:00 AM!” “Open at midnight!”, or the very worst- “Open all day Thanksgiving!”.
Wait, what? Open on Thanksgiving?
How is this acceptable? Why isn’t there more public outrage? Have we forgotten entirely what the holidays are about? Shop the day before Thanksgiving, shop the day after Thanksgiving, but there is no need to shop on Thanksgiving.
I know many people who love the tradition of shopping the day after Thanksgiving, and I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is the people waiting in line at Best Buy for days, skipping Thanksgiving entirely so they can get a cheap XBox. I have a problem with people eating and then dashing out to the stores, rather than talking, lounging, and laughing with their loved ones. I have a big problem with the fact that people have DIED under the feet of shoppers foaming at the mouth.
People get nasty when shopping like this. There is no Christmas cheer or jovial spirit. People get a crazed look in their eyes, as if they are getting tunnel vision and can only focus on the hunt for stuff and their credit card.
I long for the era when everything was closed on Thanksgiving, when the sales the day after were just a normal sale and not some earth-shattering event, when people thoughtfully picked out a few gifts for the people they cared about and were done, and when people could actually enjoy the holiday season without feeling rushed, guilty, half-crazed, and stressed out.
I genuinely hope that everyone has a lovely Thanksgiving tomorrow, full of food and family, relaxation and reflection on the many blessings we have all received in some form or another.
Thanks for allowing me to vent, I feel so much better!
By Rachel, on November 23rd, 2010
I may have mentioned it once or twice before, but I’m an anomaly where I live due to the fact that I’m not much of a crafter. I often have good intentions, such as with the scrapbook I’m about halfway done with that has taken me oh, over two years. So last month when I went to the craft store with the intention of purchasing supplies for a fall wreath, I was determined to actually do something with them (and prove my husband wrong that I wouldn’t do it, ha!).
It took me a full month, but…
BEHOLD:
It’s a little amateur, but I’m actually pretty happy with the way it turned out. A wreath like this can cost up to $40 at a craft store, and I probably spent about $10 at the most. Granted, it will only be hung on our door for about four days this year and then its time for Christmas decorations, and it will likely dissolve into a sad pile of sticks at the first puff of air, but I’m just happy I actually finished it.
(Pretend you don’t see some of the glue on the brown flowers…)
Speaking of Christmas decorations, my dog ate half my beautiful Christmas wreath a couple of years ago. Time for another project? Erm, maybe…maybe not.
By Rachel, on November 19th, 2010
So, remember how my husband and I have had this odd fascination with books based in the Middle East? When we were in NYC back in September we happened upon a sidewalk sale where they were selling books for $1.00- score! I spotted this one and since it fit nicely into the Middle East category I figured I might as well keep riding that train, you know?
I Lost My Love in Baghdad
By Michael Hastings
 (Image from Amazon.com)
I smashed it into my bulging suitcase and eventually got around to reading it this last month.
The book is a true story about a young Newsweek reporter that went to Iraq to cover the war. Shortly before leaving for Iraq he fell in love with a girl back home. They carried on a long-distance relationship under difficult circumstances, until she decided to go to Iraq herself as an aid worker. Once there, tragedy struck and she was killed. (Spoiler, I know, but the book jacket tells you that anyway, so it’s not exactly a surprise. If you want to know how she was killed I’ll leave that for you to discover if you choose to read it. Very sad.)
The book is…different. The writing style is something I definitely am not used to in a novel. The author is a news reporter, and the story was told as a news story, basically chronicling a series of facts and events. I’m used to metaphors and more introspective focus from novels. At first it really irritated me, but I got used to it after a bit and didn’t notice quite as much. The only place where it really bothered again me was the final chapters when the author was detailing hearing about his girlfriend’s death and the aftermath. I certainly got the feeling that he was distraught, but for such an intensely emotional experience, the writing failed to convey the emotions experienced, leaving the whole story feeling rather hollow.
I did learn an awful lot about the war in Iraq, and holy smokes what a mess. Truly, a nightmare. When reflecting on the story I often felt quite guilty. As Americans we are so sheltered! We were (and still are) a country at war, and yet my life has not be changed one bit. At one point I noticed the date in the chapter heading, “August 2006″, and reading about all the horrors experienced by the soldiers and civilians in Baghdad. August 2006 was the month I got married. There I was, blissfully planning my wedding, going on a honeymoon, enjoying the best things in life and completely ignorant of the fact that there was a war being waged- by my own country- on the other side of the world! It blows me away.
Overall, would I recommend this book? Meh. It was ok. The story itself was very interesting, and I learned a lot, but the writing just wasn’t captivating enough to keep me enthralled for a whole novel. Sometimes I felt like I was slogging through chapters, waiting for the “good stuff” instead of being on the edge of my seat. I did appreciate that the author was able to create a lasting tribute to his girlfriend, who was unjustly and tragically killed in an ugly and terrible war. Hopefully her memory, and the memory of all those who have lost their lives from war, can live on.
By Rachel, on November 17th, 2010
See this dude right here?
Back off ladies, that’s my husband. He’s pretty awesome.
Yesterday was his birthday. He turned 30. Thiiiirrrrttyyyyyyy. He likes when I say it nice and slow like that, to really appreciate the sound of it. He also likes when I say things like, “The big 3-0, huh? Wow!” and, “Man, the next big one will be FORTY! Crazy!”. Makes him feel special.
It can be difficult hitting those “milestone” birthdays. It always makes us reflect on what we’ve done with our lives up to that point and compare it to the ideals we have in our heads. I think most of us are a little too tough on ourselves.
Even though my husband may not think he’s accomplished/become all that he thinks he should, I think he’s pretty great. For example, he makes the best mashed potatoes. Plus, he smells good. And he has a really cute smile. That’s practically the perfect man!
In all seriousness though, I am really lucky. He is an incredibly loving person. He finds joy in making me happy and in spending time with his family, and that’s a wonderful thing. No one can make Claire shriek and laugh with happiness the way he can. He has the utmost patience as a father, and isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty. He cooks dinner for me almost every night, and cooks breakfast for me too if we’re both home in the mornings. (I know, I’m so spoiled). He encourages me to relax and does everything he can to make that possible, because he knows I’m a stress-case. He laughs at my jokes, which is amazing in itself. He’s manly but sensitive, thoughtful but fun, and my very best friend.
He treats me like every day is my birthday, and I couldn’t ask for more. I can’t wait to spend the next 30+ years together.
By Rachel, on November 12th, 2010
Like most parents, we have a pretty set routine for getting the little one to bed at night:
1. Jammies
2. Brush teeth
3. Say prayers
4. Read a short story
5. Lights out- rock, cuddle, and sing songs
We used to always read Goodnight Moon and sing “Rock-a-Bye-Baby”. These days she seems to like a little more variety and we read different books each night and usually sing “I Am Like A Star”, “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”, or “You Are My Sunshine” depending on what she requests.
Last night the husband was doing the lights out routine. Claire was too stubborn to take a nap earlier in the day and was exhausted, so she was happy to cuddle up on his lap with her blanket.
“What song do you want to sing tonight?” he asked.
In her sleepy little voice she replied matter-of-factly…
“Poker Face”
By Rachel, on November 11th, 2010
The news is abuzz with the story of the disabled Carvinal cruise ship that was brought safely back to port today. Reporters are labeling it a “nightmare”, saying the vacationers’ dreams sunk at sea. If you aren’t familiar with the story, read here for more info. To sum it up, an engine room fire caused the ship to lose all power, resulting in dark cabins, cold meals, and cold water for a few days. Worse, the toilets didn’t work for about 13 hours after the fire. The ship was towed safely back to San Diego today.
Carnival has issued apologies to the travelers, issued refunds including travel costs, and given a free cruise to use in the future. All in all, the cruise line handled the bad situation wonderfully.
Having been on two enjoyable and thankfully uneventful cruises before, I can definitely see how an experience like this would be awful. You’re all hyped up for this great vacation, and bam! No vacation. If you had a cabin without windows that would be pretty sucky. And the non-flushing toilets? Oh yuck, don’t make me think about it too much or I might gag.
But…really? Is it really necessary for the media to hype up this experience so much? Yeah, I get it. It was not remotely fun for the passengers. People had to tolerate some situations they aren’t used to. I know I certainly wouldn’t be happy about it.
But there are people all around the world suffering far worse situations. People who live in huts with dirt floors, who have to walk miles to fetch water every day. People who have never had a toilet in their home. People who have no access to health care or nutritious foods.
There are people living in war zones, with power knocked out for weeks on end and raw sewage running down the streets. People who have to live in fear daily that a missile is going to land on their home or that corrupt soldiers will drag them into the streets and beat them.
That’s a nightmare.
Yeah, the passengers on this ship had to live on less-than-appetizing cold sandwiches for a few days. As one woman in an article griped, “ We have not had a hot cup of coffee in four days.” Excuse me as I take a second to pick up my eyeballs, they rolled so hard they popped right out of my head. I kind of sympathize with the passengers, but they are safe, the ordeal was brief, and they are getting a refund and a free cruise out of it. If you ask me, no real harm done.
I hate how the media sensationalizes these types of things. This was not a disaster. You know reporters are all up in the passengers’ faces. “Tell us your story! Was it awful? How horrific was it?” Meanwhile, the details of families suffering- true suffering- in war-torn countries are censored or ignored completely.
I’m glad the cruise ship passengers made it home safely and quickly. But let’s all try to keep a little bit of perspective in the future.
By Rachel, on November 10th, 2010
I’m feeling a bit dumpy today- maybe because it’s only Wednesday, maybe because I’m getting a cold (blerg!), maybe because I am so very tired of the freeway construction I fight every day…who knows? But, I am determined to rise above it! By being positive! Join me, won’t you?
In an effort to be positive, I am going to list a few things I love. Focusing on happy, love-y things always makes the sun come out, don’t you think? I’m going to give it my best shot:
1. I recently reconnected with an old friend from several years ago (thanks, Internet!). I want to be her when I grow up. Always positive – even if the face of major challenges, beautiful, totally unique, and so artsy! She sent me a link to her new Etsy shop, and it’s fantastic. I don’t think I’ve ever purchased anything from Etsy before (weird, I know), but I plan to buy almost every single one of her prints. I. Love. Them. And while I want to keep this little gem all to myself so that I can feel all unique and stuff too, her art is just too good not to share. So, you’re welcome: http://www.etsy.com/shop/moselleshoppe
2. Macaroons. I just ate one. It was delicious. The only thing that could’ve made it better was if it was dipped in chocolate, but I’m not complaining. And these weren’t any old macaroons, these were from Tate’s Bake Shop in Southampton, NY. We have a dear friend that owns a home in Southampton that we visited in September (I know, I’m so spoiled) and he once declared that if Tate’s ever goes out of business, he is never going back to Southampton. The place is that good. And look how adorable! This is a picture from their website. Doesn’t it make you so excited for Christmas? I would love to spend the holidays in a place like this.
3. Loving the fact that I have a massage to look forward tomorrow! It has been far too long. Also loving the fact that I have a sweet and considerate husband that surprised me with the gift certificate a couple of weeks ago after I had a bad day. He’s a good egg, that one.
4. I love how my little girl will spontaneously give me a big hug and a sweet little kiss, always right when I need it. I could sure go for one of her hugs right now.
5. I love that the Jazz beat the Heat in overtime last night! Yeah baby!! Talk about a nail-biter. Take that, “Big 3″!
Hey, whaddya know? This totally DID make me feel better! I guess there really is something about the power of positive thinking.
What things do you love that make you happy?
By Rachel, on November 4th, 2010
So. I’m in San Francisco. On a business trip. Doesn’t that sound so very grown-up? If someone were to ask me “are you here for business or pleasure?” I could reply with a mature, all-knowing and controlled tone, “business.” In fact, someone did ask me! Kind of. This guy I was sharing the shuttle with asked if I was just visiting and I replied, “I’m here on business” and it sounded so very bizarre and foreign coming out of my mouth, almost like an out-of-body experience. But I felt super cool, like a real adult.
I spent all of today manning a booth at a conference, which means I spent 10 hours standing in heels and trying to yell over the noise of all the other people. And you know what I discovered? Business trips are no fun! Being an adult is totally overrated!
It’s a darn shame I had to waste the whole day, you know, working. It was an unusually warm and sunny day in San Fran, the perfect day for a celebratory parade for the SF Giants, new World Series champs! And I missed it! I ventured out to go find some lunch right around the time the parade ended and there were thousands of crazed fans all over the place. It as quite the experience, I tell ya. There are some interesting characters in this here town. And the celebration went on ALL DAY. Do these people not have jobs? At about 8:00 pm there were still people in the streets honking and yelling “LET’S GO GIANTS!” over and over. But you know, I’m happy for them. It must feel nice to have your favorite team win a championship. Although I gotta admit, I have a hard time really understanding why it is such an enormous deal. I mean, yeah, it’s awesome, woohoo! But in two weeks everyone will have moved on and pretty soon it will just be like, “hey, you remember when our favorite team won? Yeah, that was great…” and then everyone continues on with their usual day.
I’m totally bummed that I don’t have the chance to explore the city more. I haven’t been here since I was about 10 years old, and from what I can see the city is freakin’ fantastic! I love big cities. But my flight got in after dark, and the conference got out after dark, and there ain’t no way I’m traipsing around this city by myself after dark. I kid you not, there are about five homeless people hovering within the vicinity of my hotel all the time. I think I vaguely remember that from when I visited forever ago- a lot of homeless people. And the people who aren’t homeless are thugs. So yeah, my little hotel room is looking pretty attractive.
I fly home tomorrow, which I am very happy about. Some time to myself is nice, but I sure miss my little family. Plus, they don’t even have HGTV or the Food Network at my hotel! They have about seven different news channels, but no Food Network! What the what? How on earth am I supposed to kill the boring evening hours? Lame.
Speaking of flying home, I have a PSA: If you fart on a plane, your seat cushion will not absorb it. Really, it won’t. I know the cushion can be used for flotation, but it’s not made out of Odor Eaters. Do us all a favor, people.
Want to see what my trip looks like so far? I knew you did! Here ya go!
  View from my room. Apparently this is a historical site- an old U.S. Mint.
Kinda dumb that I’m in this cool city and the only thing I have pictures of is my hotel room.
Oh! I forgot to tell you about my hotel! It was built in the 1920′s originally. I believe some would call it uh, charming. However, I have never been the type to want to buy an old house for the charm. I just see it as OLD. They did a fairly decent job of updating it, minus the soundproofing. I can hear every sound outside my window. I’m pretty sure dump trucks full of rocks drive down the street all night just to mess with people. And I’m confused- I thought NYC was the city that never sleeps, but SF has way more people jabbering on the street all night! The walls are pretty thin too. I heard my neighbor’s alarm go off at 6:00 AM and heard a variety of people showering and hacking up a lung in various rooms. You know, people make some pretty darn gross phlegmy noises in the morning. Yuck.
In better news, I ate an amazing dinner tonight. I found this creperie named Melt and ordered myself a fantastic savory crepe for dinner and the most unbelievably delicious dessert crepe with bananas, strawberries, whipped cream, and NUTELLA, which is pretty much heaven in spreadable form.
Anyway, this post is entirely too long and pointless and clearly I am way too tired to write anything worthwhile, so…the end.
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