I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel (can I get a HALLELUJIAH?), and today I stopped by my advisor to make sure things were on track.  As she was scrolling through my millions (yes, millions!) of credits she noticed I had not officially applied to receive my associate’s degree even though I am qualified for it.  I suppose I was so focused on the bachelor’s that I never really thought about the associate’s, but I figured I should get that taken care of.  If nothing else, at least it will help me feel like I accomplished something. 

So, I just logged into the school website and went through the degree application process.  Everything was going swimmingly until I reached the last step:  paying $20 to apply for graduation.  Whaaaa…???  I assumed the THOUSANDS AND THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS I spent in tuition over the years would cover the whole degree thing! 

How foolish of me! 

Aargh!!

But we’re not here to discuss The Kite Runner today.  I want to talk about Hosseini’s second book, A Thousand Splendid Suns.

I do a lot of reading, and there are a lot of books that I don’t feel are worthy of typing out a full review.  But people, I finished this book two weeks ago, and I am still thinking about it.  That is the sign of a great book.  (By the way, I am not reviewing this book for any sort of compensation.  I just liked it so much that I thought y’all might like a good book to read too!)

The story covers the lives of two women in Afghanistan over the span of about 30 years.  It starts out a little slow, but eventually picks up the pace.  The author does a fantastic job of developing his characters and allowing you to feel a connection to them.  Hosseini does an even better job though of immersing you in the Afghan culture.  I must admit that I know very little about Afghanistan or other countries in the Middle East.  Ever since reading these books by Hossieni, my husband and I have been utterly fascinated with the culture in that part of the world.  Hosseini gives you a glimpse into the culture that I don’t think would be possible to obtain another way other than physically visiting the country.

If you are looking for a light-hearted book, this is not the one.  Many of the scenes are positively heartbreaking as Hosseini unfold a story about war and a society that does not value women.  I was often horrified to realize that while the story itself is fiction, these events really are taking place with real people on the other side of the world.  I actually feel the author is doing a great service to Afghanistan by writing such compelling books about it and bringing attention to the people there.  The country is not full of terrorists as the media would portray.  There are good people there who are victims of warlords and extremist ideas and a repressive society.

I gotta say, this book really made me appreciate my own life and especially my husband.  I often stopped to reflect on how very fortunate I am to live in a country where I can dress how I want, marry who I want to, go to school, hold a job, vote, and basically do whatever  the heck I want!  (aaannd…cue patriotic music in the background!)

Hosseini is a beautiful writer, often able to convey a complex idea or feeling in just a short phrase.  To me, the writing itself is just as important if not more important than the story line.  I think that is often the difference between an okay book and a great book, not to name any names…*cough* TWILIGHT *cough*…So far the author has only written two books, but I am anxiously awaiting for his next one to come out.  I would read anything he writes.

While the book was often sad and disturbing, I did really enjoy the ending…but I’m not going to say why!  You’ll have to find out for yourself.

The book is for a more mature audience.  There are a little bit of swearing, some sexuality, and some graphic images of war.  However, if you are looking for a book that will change your perspective and stay with you long after you finish it, I highly recommend A Thousand Splendid Suns.

I swear Claire came out the other side of her illness even cuter than before.  She truly lights up the room with her happy personality.  She has developed quite the sense of humor and jabbers all day long.  I could just eat her up, she is so stinking adorable.  I’m sure she’s getting tired of having me kiss her chubby cheeks, but I definitely can’t get enough.

So now it’s back to the daily grind of juggling schedules and racing from one place to the next as we try to go to class and work and fulfill our duties at home.  It is exhausting, but I do feel good knowing we are being productive and filling our time with good things.  Some days I don’t even realize there are people leading lives that allow for leisure time, until I hear someone mention they went shoe shopping or they went out to pick up a new necklace.  Shoe shopping?? I can’t even remember what it is like to browse through a store, looking for something to buy.  Occasionally I will try to squeeze in a few minutes of online shopping, but being able to actually wander around a store, touching and trying on merchandise, sounds like an absolute dream to me.  I’m sure someday we will reach that point again.  For now, it’s best if I just pretend a life like that doesn’t exist and that everyone spends their time either trapped in a classroom or trapped in a cubicle or running somewhere in between.  My alternate reality is quite the sanity-saver.

There’s a lot of crap out there.  Like really, a LOT of bad stuff.  I can’t help but wonder how or why I have been so blessed.  Sometimes stop and think about all the horrible things that people have to deal with and I’m amazed at how fortunate I am.  I’m not saying I don’t have my trials and struggles, because I do.  But even though they feel pretty major to me sometimes, I would much rather deal with the crap I have over most of the other options. 

When I think about how lucky I am to have a loving family- both my immediate little family and my extended family- a warm home, health, a job, an education, a safe place to live, food, friends, the chance to do fun things, etc…my heart just feels as though it could burst!  The fact that I’ve been spared from war, famine, disease, catastrophe, and so many other things makes me feel weak with gratitude.  Life could be so much worse, in so many different ways, how could I ever have the audacity to complain?

Sometimes I can’t help but feel so unworthy to have been spared such heartache.  I know there are so many better people than me out there who have suffered.  I’m truly so lucky.  I hope someday I can be the kind of person that deserves such good fortune, and in turn be the kind of person that can bless the lives of others.

On April 24th we will be hosting a baby shower for The March of Dimes Teddy Bear Den program.  The program gives low-income women in need incentives (in the form of diapers, wipes, new baby clothes, etc.) to participate in pre- and post-natal care and to avoid risky behaviors during pregnancy, resulting in fewer infants with life-threatening birth defects.

If you would like to attend, donate, or learn more please visit the Service Soapbox website.  Consider yourself officially invited!

Ok, that’s too strong of a statement.  I am not socially inept.  I get along just fine with people and can hold my own when necessary.  I guess the better term is that I am shy.  But sometimes that makes me feel socially inept.

The odd thing is I have no fear of public speaking or anything like that.  I’ll get up and give presentations and actually enjoy it.  But when it comes to socializing with strangers that is where I get all anxious and feel like I’m all thumbs and two left feet and like my tongue is swelling up in my mouth or something.  Why, I do not know.  It drives me crazy.  And the older I get the worse it gets.

In all honesty there are days when I feel like I would be perfectly happy forever with just a small circle of friends and family, never to have to network or build relationships elsewhere.  I know that is completely unreasonable and really not true either.  Deep down I need other people just like anyone else, and in this world it’s not what you know it’s who you know, right?  So I try to force myself to get out there and be a real person once in a while.

(I just read over what I wrote and it sounds so pathetic. Good grief.)

About a week ago I stumbled across a blog I love written by a local woman.  She was hosting a free blogger brunch on Saturday the 20th to help launch a service project.  At first I blew it off, because of course I NEVER do anything like that.  Make small talk, with strangers?  BY MYSELF? Yeah right!  But the more I thought about, the more I knew it would be a good thing.  There would be other women there with the same interests as me.  I could get involved in some sort of service project and therefore be a better person because of it.  Besides, it was like, 10 minutes away from my house and I had a babysitter, so I had absolutely no excuse.

The event was being hosted at the Blue Lemon restaurant in Highland, Utah which was really awesome of them because they did it for free.  It was actually really beautiful, so hit them up if you’re hosting an event!   The whole time I was driving out there I resisted the urge to turn around and return to my safe haven of shyness.  BUT, I went in, slapped on a timid smile, and did my best to get out there.

We did a “speed-dating” type thing where we rotated around getting to know the different women, what they blog about, etc.  It was awesome!  I’ve never met so many nice ladies in one place like that before.  We then compiled ideas for a fabulous service project that I will post about in the future in case anyone else wants to get involved (you should!).

And Internet, I have another confession to make: I walked away from that blogger brunch feeling great.  Yes, it was outside my comfort zone and I felt a moment of terror when I first walked in, but I was so proud of myself for actually participating.  Plus, I finally did something for myself for once.  I got to meet new people and talk about something I’m interested in, and not go to work or do homework or wash dishes or wipe noses or all those other things that dominate my time these days.  It was an amazing feeling to do something I had chosen to do, and not something I felt obligated to do. Hopefully I can get a taste of that feeling more often in the future!

He belongs to one of the little neighbor boys.  We are taking care of this bad boy while the family is out of town.

Batman the Fish.  How cute is that?

You carry the baby inside you for 9 months.  You’re exhausted, sick, misshapen, and swollen.  You lovingly note every kick and turn and anticipate the day the discomfort will all pay off.

You endure pain and stitches and sleepless night after sleepless night.  You change diapers and cuddle and coo and rock and sway and bounce and then you do it all again.

You love.

And you worry.  Oh, how you worry!  And you know the worry will never end.

And you love some more.

And then…

Cold, hard REJECTION.  Your toddler that you nurtured and sacrificed for and loved and worried about wants nothing to do with you.  She buries her face into her daddy’s shoulder when you try to say hi to her in the morning.  She bypasses you as she reaches her arms out to be held by her daddy.  She bawls when he leaves in the morning and pushes you away.

KID, I AM YOUR MOTHER.

Did I do something wrong?  Do I not sing enough songs or make enough silly faces?  Are my hugs inferior?

The guilt sets in.  Maybe I’m too impatient.  Maybe I’m not around enough.  I work too much…maybe…maybe…maybe…

Or maybe it’s just a classic case of a Daddy’s Girl.  And I am grateful that my girl has a daddy who loves her.

All I can say is my future boys better be Mama’s Boys.

I know you’re probably thinking, a balloon?  What’s so freaking incredible about that?  This girl really needs to get out more.

But this isn’t just any balloon, this balloon has been floating for FOUR WEEKS now.  FOUR WEEKS!!  I thought for sure after we brought it home that it would be doing a sad little bob along the floor the next morning, but this thing has defied all expectations.  It’s both amazing and freakish all at the same time.

I think my streak is over.  I’m tapped out.  My brain is slowly shutting down in preparation for the weekend. 

I’m so happy its the weekend.  Holy crap, I’m glad this week is over.  In all reality I’ve had much, much worse weeks.  But I’m still ready to be done.

Sorry for the lame-o post.  Let’s hope this weekend brings something interesting to write about!