A couple of months ago as I was picking up toys (again) and listening to the TV on in the background, I heard a commercial that I haven’t seen since but it hit me like a ton of bricks and has been the mantra in my head ever since.  The narrator said something along the lines of, “Every good pilot knows that in order for a plane to take off you can’t run in front of the wind.  Rather, you have to turn into the wind…”

Sometimes I find myself running in front of the wind, wondering why I’m getting tired but nothing is happening.  Turning into the wind is hard.  It’s easier to run with the wind at your back, or easier yet, lie down.  Sometimes it feels like it is going to knock you right off your feet.  Sometimes it might. But it isn’t until we turn into that resistance and push forward with all our might that we finally get the lift we need to fly.

The other day one of my favorite bloggers posted a poem that she had found through yet another blogger in a time of need.

If All The Skies

If all the skies were sunshine
Our faces would be fain
To feel once more upon them
The cooling splash of rain

If all the world were music
Our hearts would often long
For one sweet strain of silence,
To break the endless song.

If life were always merry,
Our souls would seek relief,
And rest from weary laughter
In the quiet arms of grief.

-Henry Van Dyke (1852-1933)

I was so grateful this person had decided to post this poem, because it helped me dust myself off after feeling knocked down again.  As I’ve read posts and spoken with other friends, I know I’m not the only one “turning into the wind” and sometimes finding the resistance to be too much.  I hope these words bring the same small amount of comfort to you as they did to me.  I hope that someday soon we’ll all have our chance to soar.

To some, the words “saving” and “delayed gratification” and “used, er… pre-owned” are foreign.  The notion of spending and needing less is kind of an old-fashioned idea in today’s society.  Our country is all about bigger, better, newer, faster, flashier, and RIGHT NOW.  As I’ve been mulling over the ideas presented in this book and how to make it work for me, I’m realizing that the first step is to change my mentality.  Before any of this can work, I need to get in the right frame of mind.

Generally speaking, I think I could say that I do fairly well.  I don’t buy a lot of “stuff”: magazines, clothing, drinks, home decor, movies, etc.  However, I am all about anything that will make my life easier, such as pre-packaged and frozen convenience meals and snacks, or the occasional fast food run when we’re just too blasted tired to try to cook anything at home.  While I may be making my life easier in the short term by throwing a frozen pre-packaged burrito in the microwave, I need to look at the big picture and realize that I’m not making my life easier in the long run.  The more money I spend on convenience items, the more money I am going to have to make to pay for them, which means the more I am going to have to work.  The more I work, the less time I have to cook a real dinner, which means I will default to a convenience item.  It’s a vicious, vicious cycle, people.

So far the book has been focusing almost entirely on food expenses, since that is probably the biggest spending opportunity for most Americans.  I remember putting together a spreadsheet several months ago of our monthly expenses and discovering that we were spending more than $400 a month on groceries.  $400+ a month!  For two and a half people!  I about gagged on my frozen burrito when I saw that number.  Since then I’ve been trying to make more of an effort in my meal planning so we can cut down on the cost, but truth be told I haven’t exactly followed up and stayed on top of keeping track to see if its made a difference.

I’m hoping that if I start applying the ideas in Miserly Moms that I will be able to actually make some headway.  So, it begins!  Ms. Jonni has outlined Eleven Miserly Guidelines to get me on the way to financial freedom.  Guideline #1:  Don’t confuse frugality with depriving yourself.  And the bottom line to doing that?  Make sure your goals are worth more than anything else.  Is being debt-free your priority?  Quitting your job?  Maybe having a family?  Maybe it’s having more money to go see the world?  Whatever it is, it has to be better than anything else.  Better than getting your nails done regularly.  Better than take-out three times a week.  Better than a giant Diet Coke from the gas station every day.

For me, I want to be able to spend more time with my family.  That’s better than all the hair highlights in the world.  Yep, mind over matter.  I can do this.

What do you think?  What makes being frugal worth it to you?

However, I have never been a good with keeping a budget.  While I am always careful, I am not exact in my spending.  I could be more disciplined.

In fact, I need to be more disciplined.

The husband and I have goals.  A house that isn’t attached to someone else’s house, for example.  A garage (there aren’t many things I hate more than scraping ice off my windshield in the morning when it’s 2 degrees outside).  Not having both of us work full-time.  Taking our kids to the beach as they grow up.  A trip to Europe someday, hopefully.

Right now we live comfortably, if not lavishly.  But we have some debt weighing us down.  We both work- a little too hard it feels like at times.  I’d like to change that.  I’d like to get us to the point where our debt is gone and eventually I can stay home with my kiddos.

So, in order to accomplish this (as well as one of my new year’s resolutions!  I’m really sticking to them!), I’ve decided to start reading Miserly Moms: Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy for some tips on how to reach my goal.  So far I’m intrigued…and a little scared.  I see where the author is coming from, but can I really do it?  It’s not exactly easy, but it may be worth it.

Do you have a budget?  If so, how do you manage to stick to it?

Anyway, one of my resolutions is to exercise more.  This is important for a number of reason.  Obviously, I want a long and healthy life and exercise plays a huge part in that.  Secondly, exercise is wonderful stress relief, and I could use a whole lot more of that.  Third, it increases my self-esteem and self-image and I could certainly use more of that too.  Lastly, I need to lose some weight! Not a ton, maybe 10 pounds or so, but this extra jiggle has got to go!

The problem is I need to lose it soon.  Why?  Because I am going on a cruise in two months.  That’s right, a glorious Caribbean cruise.  7 days of fun and relaxation with my man.  And know what’s even better?  It’s FREE!!!  I won it from my work last summer.  How freaking awesome is that?  But if I’m really going to have a good time, I can’t be worrying about how my saddlebags look as I stroll along the beach.

The even bigger problem is that I seem to think that this 2 month time span is not actually two months but is an infinite time frame.  So what if I never made it on the treadmill today,  I have two months still!  But pretty soon that two months will be two weeks and I will really start to panic.  I tend to do this too often.  I set a goal for myself and then give myself too much leeway if I don’t start to execute on it.  This time though, the time frame is set.  I guess it wouldn’t be the end of the world if I don’t reach my goal, but this is something I really want to do.

Last night, finally, I spent some time on the treadmill I got for Christmas.  (See?  I have my own treadmill, now I really don’t have any excuses!).  And you know what?  It felt great!  I’m not in fantastic shape, but it felt so good to just be active.  A lot of times I put off exercise because I’m too exhausted.  Last night was another one of those nights.  I was completely drained, achy, grumpy, and a little queasy.  I thought there was no way I could find the strength to do anything but loaf on the couch.  But you know, it’s true that exercise actually gives you more energy.  Afterwards I felt great, no aches, no queasiness.  I could feel the blood running through my veins and it felt good to be alive.

So why, after such an enlightening experience, is it so hard to get myself to do it again today???