A rather sad little post. You’ve been warned…

I attempted to sit down on Tuesday and write a post, but I was literally too sleep deprived to even put two coherent words together.

I tried again on Thursday, but I suppose I was still too exhausted and burned out that I could hardly keep myself from banging my head on the keyboard and then falling asleep.

I guess what I’m saying is, it’s been a rough week.

Since the broccoli barf incident, things went steadily downhill until we reached the point where Claire was vomiting 10+ times a day from coughing so hard, lethargic, burning hot, and just the saddest little girl you’ve ever seen.  I thought my heart couldn’t break any more, until another puking episode required yet another bath.  As I set her down next to the bath to take off her onsie and diaper, her little legs were visibly shaking from being so weak and tears ran down her chubby cheeks.  I tried valiantly to fight back the tears myself, but my heart just couldn’t take it anymore.  Truly, there is nothing worse than seeing your child in pain or discomfort and not being able to do a single thing about it. 

On Sunday we went to the Urgent Care to see if we could get Claire back on the road to recovery, where they took chest x-rays and gave her injections of antibiotics and all sorts of other torturous things, only to discover a couple days later from her regular pediatrician that she was MISDIAGNOSED (AARGH!)  and I now have a several hundred dollar medical bill coming my way and my little girl did not get any better.   

So in the midst of all the not sleeping and barf cleaning and soothing and fretting and whatnot, Brady’s body decides the sinus/cough thing he had been fighting for a while just wasn’t enough.  On Tuesday night he suddenly started experiencing extreme pain in one of his ears, to the point where he was almost in tears.  After a few agonizing hours he felt a pop, some relief, and fluid began draining out.  I sent him to the doctor the next day and sure enough, he had an ear infection.  Later that night, the other ear did the same thing.  You should see his pillow after having fluid draining from both ears all night.  In fact, I could probably post a picture…what?  No?  That’s gross?  Well, that’s no fun.  So anyway, the man can’t hear much but is on the mend at least.

Add to the mix some stressful changes at work, and then summer semester starting for both of us yesterday!

WHEEEE!!!

How’s your week been?  Better, I hope!

Tags: sad mommy, sick child, sick husband, tough week

A healthy dose of birth control

Good news!  I figured out a way to get Claire to let me brush her teeth.  Apparently if I sing “Popcorn Popping” like a clown on crack she happily opens her mouth and lets me brush away.

In other news, she also came down with a nasty cough a couple nights ago.  The husband has actually been sick for weeks and finally went to the doctor to find out he had RSV, of all things, so there is a good chance that is what she has too.  At 10:00 PM we could hear the dreaded deep, strong, barky cough coming from her room.  It woke her up and caused her to cough so hard that she threw up all over the floor.  Poor girl.

Last night we went in to check on her around midnight and were punched in the face by the smell of vomit as soon as we walked in the room.  It seemed extremely odd, since we never heard anything aside from a little coughing, so there’s no way she actually threw up, right?  Upon closer inspection, we discovered vomit on her sheets.  We rolled her over and lo and behold, there was barf covering her pj’s, blanket, and hair.  It must have been a rather pleasant and peaceful experience for her this time around, because nary a peep did she make.  We woke her up, stripped her and the bed, and discovered chunks of broccoli barf dried in her hair…and on her cheek…and down her neck…and onto her back… and on her hands.

This is the kind of stuff they need to teach to crazy teenagers in sex ed classes.  Are you ready to clean up chunks of broccoli barf at midnight instead of partying with your friends?  ARE YOU? If that doesn’t scare them straight, I don’t know what will.

In the tub she went, the poor little thing bleary eyed and bewildered, wondering why she was woken up from a peaceful sleep and thrown into the water.

I sure do love being a mom and my little girl.  But if there was one thing I could eliminate from motherhood, it just might be cleaning up vomit.

What do you other parents think?  What would be the one gross/onerous task you would eliminate from daily life with kids?

Tags: barf, late nights, sick

A conundrum

I try to stay pretty on top of things as far as my daughter’s health and well-being go.  As with most new aspects of motherhood though, I was pretty clueless how to go about caring for her.  When does she eat solid foods?  When she stops drinking formula, what on earth do I feed her all day?  How on earth do I clip these tiny fingernails?  How many  naps should she be taking?  How much tummy time is enough?

Each new stage brought new questions.  At some point after her teeth started coming in, I realized they wouldn’t just keep themselves healthy.  Do I have to like, CLEAN these things??

I remember reading in a parenting magazine that once there are two teeth that touch, parents should floss their kids’ teeth daily.

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Have they met a baby?  Better yet, have they ever met a TODDLER?

Needless to say, the flossing isn’t exactly going as the professionals recommend it should.  However, we have tried to be pretty diligent about brushing my daughter’s teeth.  She’s gone through phases of loving it and not loving it so much, but we’ve almost always been successful by making it a game or showing how daddy does it or something along those lines.  Lately though, she will have none of it.  If we even start to walk into the bathroom to brush her teeth she’ll flail and flop and fuss.  When we try to actually put the toothbrush in her mouth it turns into a full-on meltdown.  Some nights we give up and just let her “brush” her own teeth.  Other nights we beg and try to make it fun.  Last night my husband just held her arms while I tried to brush her little teeth as fast as my hand would go.   Not pretty.

So now what?  I’m hoping this is just a phase.  I don’t want to give up brushing her teeth, because dental care is important.  I want to establish healthy habits with her, and if I just give up because she puts up a fuss that will set a precedent for future tooth brushing and other issues I’m sure.

As a sidenote, some may argue that dental health doesn’t matter for little kids because they will just lose their teeth anyway.  However, that isn’t true.  If kids teeth rot and fall out too early, it could damage the development of their permanent teeth as well as their placement and overall health.  Not to mention the importance of gum health, which they will carry all their lives.

So how do you get your toddlers to brush their teeth?  Do you floss your kids’ teeth?  If so, HOW? (I’m guessing you must be magic to get them to hold still!) What is your philosophy on the whole thing anyway?  Advice is welcome.

Tags: dental health, toddlers, tooth brushing adventures

Precious moments

There have been many times in my life where I wished I could just hit the pause button and freeze certain moments in time.  Lately, it seems like I am feeling that more and more.  My little girl has hit that precious transition between baby and little girl, and while I love the little girl she is becoming, I already miss the baby she was.  The phases seem so short and fleeting, and just when I feel like I can fully appreciate a new phase she is in it is over and on to the next one.  And during the tumultuous toddler years I know the sweet, calm phases can be short lived and therefore need to be appreciated even more.

The past few days she has positively oozed cuteness from every pore.  I’ve been priveledged to spend plenty of uninterrupted time with her, which feels rare these days considering the hectic schedule I am constantly trying to keep up with.  She has been playful, talkative, cuddly, and curious.  We’ve had conversations about everything under the sun (some of it I didn’t understand, but she sure seemed to be interested!)  We’ve read books over and over with her sitting on my lap, pointing to pictures and giggling.  We’ve sung songs and played in the park and she let me kiss her chubby cheeks as much as I wanted to. 

This morning she greeted me with her usual cheery, ” ‘I Mama!” as I walked in her room to get her up.  She jabbered as I got her ready for the day.  We said hello to the world as we opened the blinds to let the sun in, and I told her I would make her a waffle for breakfast. 

“Faffle!” she exclaimed, her face lighting up as I put her down to get things ready.

“Faffle!”  she chirped over and over, stamping her feet in a happy dance, her little fists balled up in excitement and a smile on her face.  “Faffle!”

It’s times like that I wish I could put under glass to preserve for a later time when I know things may be challenging.  I do my best to capture the moment in my mind, but just like all the other moments I’ve tried so hard to preserve I know time will dim the edges and make it blurry and hard to recapture. 

Still, I am grateful I will have the memory, even if it is imperfect.  Someday I will likely get a letter like this tucked under my pillow, and I’ll wistfully remember the day I was my daughter’s hero because I made her a “faffle”:

I found this today on one of my favorite websites- PassiveAggressiveNotes- and it cracked me up.  Not exactly the love note mom was hoping for, I’m sure!  I suppose it could be worse though, right?

Tags: funny note, kids, precious moments

Sucker punched

Sometimes motherhood is just a big punch in the gut.

You carry the baby inside you for 9 months.  You’re exhausted, sick, misshapen, and swollen.  You lovingly note every kick and turn and anticipate the day the discomfort will all pay off.

You endure pain and stitches and sleepless night after sleepless night.  You change diapers and cuddle and coo and rock and sway and bounce and then you do it all again.

You love.

And you worry.  Oh, how you worry!  And you know the worry will never end.

And you love some more.

And then…

Cold, hard REJECTION.  Your toddler that you nurtured and sacrificed for and loved and worried about wants nothing to do with you.  She buries her face into her daddy’s shoulder when you try to say hi to her in the morning.  She bypasses you as she reaches her arms out to be held by her daddy.  She bawls when he leaves in the morning and pushes you away.

KID, I AM YOUR MOTHER.

Did I do something wrong?  Do I not sing enough songs or make enough silly faces?  Are my hugs inferior?

The guilt sets in.  Maybe I’m too impatient.  Maybe I’m not around enough.  I work too much…maybe…maybe…maybe…

Or maybe it’s just a classic case of a Daddy’s Girl.  And I am grateful that my girl has a daddy who loves her.

All I can say is my future boys better be Mama’s Boys.

Tags: daddy's girl; toddler; rejection; love

One step forward, two steps back

Last week I briefly mentioned that in my quest to be more frugal, I was following the advice of the book and tackling my grocery bills.  Oh, I so wanted to write a post on the beautiful, organized spreadsheet I had developed in order to compare prices.  I wanted to talk about the shock I felt when I realized how much more money I was spending than I should have been.  I had big dreams!

But then…we were struck with the thing that can bring a home with children to its knees:  illness.  With some pretty crappy timing too. Not that any time is particularly convenient to get sick, but still…  The husband and I started school again and in an attempt to make our schedules work, coordinated a baby swap a few times a week with a neighbor also trying to finish school.  In the midst of the craziness the husband and baby were hit with a doozy of a cold.  That’s right, a DOOZY!  Poor little Claire especially, and any parent knows that there is little worse than having a sick child.

My schedule for the last week basically looked like this:

4:02 AM- Baby crying, offer comfort.

4:37 AM- More crying, more bleary-eyed comfort offered.

5:15 AM- Baby too congested to sleep.  Sit in rocking chair with baby to keep her upright and help her breathe.

6:20 AM- Crawl back into bed.

6:35 AM- Baby cries.  Discover diaper leak, urine everywhere.  Awesome.  Baby in tub.

7:55 AM- Leave for school.

10:00 AM- Baby swap so husband can go to school.  Tend to sick child.

10:12 AM- Wipe snot

10:23 AM- Wipe snot

10:37 AM- Restrain child in order to wipe snot

10:42 AM- Give up on keeping snot river under control and accept that everything will be covered in mucous for the next several days.

11:00 AM- Naptime!= homework time for mom

12:45 PM- Baby awake, wipe snot, lunch time, sick and tired husband comes home

1:15 PM- Work, work, work…

8:30 PM- get home, start getting baby ready for bed.  Baby’s coughing fit induces BARFING.  Baby in tub.

9:15 PM- baby finally asleep.  Eat late dinner.

9:35 PM- Lapse into a coma from exhaustion

So!  As you can see, there has been no time for organized spreadsheets or meal planning or even checking my email.  Besides, had I even printed off one of those lovely spreadsheets I’m pretty sure it would be covered in snot.

Let’s hope this week runs a little more smoothly.

Tags: feeling crazy, schedules, sick baby

When it rains, it pours

I totally fell off of the NaBloPoMo wagon.  I was doing so well, too!  Oh well, there’s always next year.  This year a little thing called life got in the way, I’m afraid.

Last weekend I got a flat tire that couldn’t be fixed, and since my car needed new tires anyway we had to deal with the whole rigmarole of arranging driving and all that fun stuff until we could finally take my car in on Tuesday, which also happened to be the day that I was irrational and emotional, probably due to lack of sleep and hormones, and the hubby was the same way so that equaled out to some marital discord.

The previous night, Monday, all was going fairly well (except the car thing) and since the hubby had to pick me up from work he thought it would be nice for us to go out for a family dinner to my favorite restaurant.  We didn’t have a baby-sitter or anything, but figured Claire would be just fine and would enjoy getting out for a bit.  Everything started off great- Claire was happy watching all the people and playing with crayons and we were enjoying our salads and bread.  I look up from my salad to glance at Claire in her high chair and HOLY CRAP!  She’s spewing vomit everywhere! Not a sound did she make, nor was there any inclination whatsoever of her not feeling good.  But out of the blue she starts barfing copious amounts,which is a mystery to me, since she was still avoiding eating that day.

I grabbed all the napkins I could find, including ones off of other peoples’ tables in an attempt to catch/clean up some of the mess.  The poor girl is crying pretty hard now and we’re trying to figure out a way to get her to the bathroom without smearing puke all over ourselves, all the while pretending that all the other diners aren’t staring at us in horror.  I finally managed to escape to the restroom, strip her down, clean her up, and put her in the spare onesie in the diaper bag.  We hung out in there for a little while, just in case, and when I felt the coast was clear we headed back to the table.  However, the second I rounded the corner and approached our table…

“BLEEEEEHHHHH!!   WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!”

She barfed again.  Back to the restroom we went, leaving the hubby to get everything boxed up and in the car.  So much for the nice evening.  One of those things you put under the “WHY DO WE EVEN TRY?” category.

I do have to pause for a second though and mention that while I was in the restroom with my crying, half-naked, smelly child that I felt very grateful for the sense of camaraderie I felt with the other women in there.  None of them stared, none of the pretended to ignore us in the hopes of avoiding something unpleasant and uncomfortable.  Each woman that came through offered her sympathies and help and shared stories of when their child had done something similar.  It made me feel as though I was part of this network of mothers that understood and cared.  We didn’t really know each other, but we had an understanding of what the other had been through.  For some odd reason feeling as though I wasn’t alone in my struggles made everything easier.

So with Monday and Tuesday both in the crapper, the week was off to a pretty un-promising start.  More to come of the remainder of the week’s events…

Tags: car crap, motherhood, puke, sick baby

Toddler fatigue

I’m beginning to realize more fully every day that I am completely unprepared to parent a toddler.  I would probably say that, oh, 99% of people would probably make the same comment, but that doesn’t make me feel any better knowing that I’m in good company.

Surviving the infancy of my daughter was hard.  The lack of sleep, the lack of freedom as you are homebound with a tiny and helpless human.  The never ending cycle of a new baby- eat, poop, sleep, cry, eat, poop, sleep, cry…But, infants do sleep a lot.  And if they aren’t sleeping, they’re usually pretty content if they’re held or being fed.  They don’t move much, they don’t need much entertainment, and they eat the same thing all the time.  So simple!

Surviving toddler-hood may prove impossible.  When my daughter was about 4 months old we could tell she would be an extremely active baby and little girl by the way she would wildly pump her arms and legs on a regular basis.  Our prediction was spot-on.  My now 15 month old never stops moving.  She is always exploring something.  She likes lot of action and entertainment.  She is a smart and sweet little thing.  But she has an uncanny way of driving me truly crazy.

Not only does she still not sleep and lately she still poops 4 frickin’ times a day, but the ever-changing eating habits, the need to be constantly on the move, and the frequent whining/groaning/grunting/screeching  jags due to boredom or teething pain or who knows what has me exhausted and feeling as though I am on the edge of losing it.  I have a complete understanding of the phrase bone tired. And the stubbornness!  Oh, the stubbornness!

I know these years are precious, and in many ways I do love them.  But some days I wonder how on earth I am going to survive another day (or night) like the one I just endured.

Tags: toddlers

One of those days

Here I was, looking forward to the weekend with the naive hope that it would offer some relief from the stress of the workweek.  Sadly, my hopes have been dashed.  Here is how the last 24 hours have gone:

- The kid wakes up over and over in the night for unspecified reasons.  When I demanded an answer at 3:00 AM as to why she insisted on waking me up again all I got was an “eh?” in response.  I think she’s faking that she doesn’t understand the question.

-  The kid decides after not sleeping all night that waking up for the day at 6:15 AM is a great idea.

-  Husband leaves for work at 7:45 AM, leaving a tired and very grumpy mama with a teething and also grumpy toddler.  Brewing a recipe for disaster commences.

-  As I am attemtping to make myself decent, I realize the house is eerily quiet.  No noise from the kid in the next room.  I go to inspect and discover her emptying my purse and being particularly taken with the bright red lipstick in there.  In order to investigate this exciting new product further, the kid decides to taste it, smear it on her jammies, and rub it on the carpet.  Awesome.

- The kid spends the rest of the morning ignoring my attempts to distract her with fun items (”Look, honey, a plastic spoon!”) and fakes that she doesn’t understand the word “no”.  I know she is faking because the entire time she is doing something naughty she says “no” repeatedly.  Multiple time-outs ensue.

-  The kid decides that the mild whining and grunting over the last couple of hours has not been sufficient and decides to screech incessantly at the top of her lungs, over NOTHING.

-  Oh, did I mention that through all of this mama has PMS= the overwhelming feeling that I am completely unable to cope with life in general?  I didn’t mention that?  Silly me, since that has made everything exponentially worse.

- 1:00 PM.  I’ve had it.  The countdown to when daddy gets home has begun.  Thankfully, the kid is taking a nap.

The bright beacon of hope shining through all of this today has been the knowledge that tonight I get to go to the SYTYCD live concert.  YEAH!  If I can just keep that in my sights, I think I’ll make it through the next five hours…

Tags: feeling crazy, PMS, whining

Its a hard knock life

Last night as we were getting ready for bed Claire woke up very unhappy.  As in screaming-her-guts-out unhappy.  After trying everything I could think of to soothe her I figured that something was hurting her and decided to check her diaper.  Sure enough, her poor, precious little bum was so red it was practically glowing in the dim light.

As I commenced cleaning her up the little thing writhed and screeched and shook from the pain.  Oh!  Could my heart break any more?  I ended up a a hot mess with tears streaming down my face, later followed by a brief cry in the bathroom because it hurt my heart to see my baby so unhappy.  Could I be more pathetic?  I’m crying over diaper rash! Can you imagine what a wreck I would be if something truly traumatizing were to happen?  I’m totally not tough enough for this motherhood thing.

So this morning Claire is still rather uncomfortable and is trying to avoid sitting on her little derriere and having crying spells where she reaches for me, desperate for comfort.  During one of these fits of pain I was trying to cuddle and comfort her, and I happened to look into her mouth to see four little white points that weren’t there just a couple of days ago.  The poor thing is cutting a molar (with another one coming in on the other side too), and has a bright red tush to boot.

Being a baby is tough!  I’ll take worries about money and what to make for dinner ANY DAY over a burning butt and spikes coming through my gums.

Tags: diaper rash, teething