Book review- A Thousand Splendid Suns

As I’ve mentioned before, my husband has recently gotten into reading.  I LOVE being able to talk books with him now!  Several months ago he had to read The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini for one of his classes and he absolutely loved it, so I read it too.  The husband was right- it was a fantastic book.  Fascinating story, great writing, and a real eye-opener to a culture that I know very little about.  We were hooked.

But we’re not here to discuss The Kite Runner today.  I want to talk about Hosseini’s second book, A Thousand Splendid Suns.

I do a lot of reading, and there are a lot of books that I don’t feel are worthy of typing out a full review.  But people, I finished this book two weeks ago, and I am still thinking about it.  That is the sign of a great book.  (By the way, I am not reviewing this book for any sort of compensation.  I just liked it so much that I thought y’all might like a good book to read too!)

The story covers the lives of two women in Afghanistan over the span of about 30 years.  It starts out a little slow, but eventually picks up the pace.  The author does a fantastic job of developing his characters and allowing you to feel a connection to them.  Hosseini does an even better job though of immersing you in the Afghan culture.  I must admit that I know very little about Afghanistan or other countries in the Middle East.  Ever since reading these books by Hossieni, my husband and I have been utterly fascinated with the culture in that part of the world.  Hosseini gives you a glimpse into the culture that I don’t think would be possible to obtain another way other than physically visiting the country.

If you are looking for a light-hearted book, this is not the one.  Many of the scenes are positively heartbreaking as Hosseini unfold a story about war and a society that does not value women.  I was often horrified to realize that while the story itself is fiction, these events really are taking place with real people on the other side of the world.  I actually feel the author is doing a great service to Afghanistan by writing such compelling books about it and bringing attention to the people there.  The country is not full of terrorists as the media would portray.  There are good people there who are victims of warlords and extremist ideas and a repressive society.

I gotta say, this book really made me appreciate my own life and especially my husband.  I often stopped to reflect on how very fortunate I am to live in a country where I can dress how I want, marry who I want to, go to school, hold a job, vote, and basically do whatever  the heck I want!  (aaannd…cue patriotic music in the background!)

Hosseini is a beautiful writer, often able to convey a complex idea or feeling in just a short phrase.  To me, the writing itself is just as important if not more important than the story line.  I think that is often the difference between an okay book and a great book, not to name any names…*cough* TWILIGHT *cough*…So far the author has only written two books, but I am anxiously awaiting for his next one to come out.  I would read anything he writes.

While the book was often sad and disturbing, I did really enjoy the ending…but I’m not going to say why!  You’ll have to find out for yourself.

The book is for a more mature audience.  There are a little bit of swearing, some sexuality, and some graphic images of war.  However, if you are looking for a book that will change your perspective and stay with you long after you finish it, I highly recommend A Thousand Splendid Suns.

Tags: A Thousand Splendid Suns, book review

Who are you and what have you done with my husband?

Lately, I don’t recognize my husband.

I used to know him as the guy in the house with his eyes glued to Sports Center. Or a Yankees game.  Or Jazz game.  Or pretty much any game at all.

These days though, I find him curled up in the corner of the couch, TV off.  Reading a book. Happily reading a book, I should say.  Everywhere he goes he carries around his novel so he can crack it open during a dull moment.  Then, later that night he wants to talk about the book.  The story line, the characters, the way the author writes, the way it makes him feel. (Can you believe it?  A man talking about FEELINGS?)

Internet, my husband has become a nerd.

And it is so hot.

I’ve been a book nerd my whole life- and proud of it!  I love to read.  Like really, LOVE to read.  I don’t have much time to do it these days, sadly.  I have to be very selective about when I choose to pick up a book, because if I do everything else goes right out the window.  Laundry?  Forget it.  Eating?  Nope.  Sleep?  It can wait.  If I read something I throw myself into it, so I really only do it over holidays and vacations now.

When I married my husband I knew he did not enjoy reading, and I was ok with that.  Just because I loved it didn’t mean he had to as well.  I had fully accepted that we would never be one of those old-fashioned couples on TV, both in our pj’s, sitting in bed reading together.  Sure, that sounded nice, but it wasn’t a dealbreaker.  There were plenty of other things we had in common.

But now!  He’s a new man.  Do you know what he said to me the other day?  “Sometimes I’d rather read than watch TV!”

*Swoon!*

He wants us to read the same book at the same time so we can talk about it as we go.  SO WE CAN TALK ABOUT BOOKS!  Be still, my beating heart! So far he’s read almost five novels since January.  That’s more than he’s read in probably the last ten years.  Seriously, I don’t recognize the man, but I love him.

Guys, you want to know the secret to a woman’s heart?  Take a genuine interest in something she loves.  Whether it be reading, cooking, scrapbooking, traveling, running, bird watching, underwater basket-weaving, or whatever, just take an interest.  You don’t have to do it yourself, or love it as much as she does, but TALK to her about it as though you really care.  Works like magic.

Ladies, same goes for you too.  This last baseball season I sat down with my husband and actually watched the Yankees play in the World Series.  And something crazy happened: I liked it. But more importantly, he loved it.

Common interests strengthen a marriage…who knew?

What common interests do you share with your significant other?

Anyone have any must-read books they would suggest?

Tags: books, marriage, reading

Speaking of superheros…

I have to admit that this last week I felt like supermom.  Not to toot my own horn or anything (TOOT TOOT!), but this is a breakthrough for me.

Look what I managed to do:

I know it doesn’t look like much in the picture, but I now have THREE meals made from scratch chillin’ in my freezer.  Made by yours truly.  All while I managed to study for a test, take care of my busy toddler, and then work all afternoon/evening. Oh, and I was fighting a cold.  BOO-YAH!

TOOT TOOT!

What you are looking at is a chicken & veggie noodle casserole (which is pretty good, I must say), and an Italian veggie & pasta soup.

Normally we try to stock up our freezer with a couple of frozen meals for the week, just in case we’re too tired to cook anything.  Typically we buy a bag of some sort of frozen pasta meal, which would consist of chicken, veggies, noddles, and some sauce.  It costs around $10 a bag.

By making my own convenience meals I was able to make three for just under $10.  I got triple the value by doing it myself.  Plus, I was able to control how much salt and fat went into it, without the preservatives too.  Yeah, I had to sacrifice some time.  But I gotta tell ya that it feels good to know that I am taking care of my family.  There is something surprisingly satisfying about it.  It feels so…wholesome, I guess that’s the word I’m looking for.  And I’m saving money, too.

I’m almost done with Miserly Moms.  I haven’t applied everything, but the few things I have done so far have worked out well.  Now I just have to keep it up as I try to master some of the other skills of being miserly.

I made the soup using a guide I found on a cooking blog I like.  The soup guide is awesome.  It gives you directions on how to make a soup out of pretty much anything.  The book I’m reading suggests instituting a soup night or baked potato night once a week, since it is an inexpensive but typically hearty meal.  On a night you don’t know what to cook you can use the soup guide to make use of some of the leftover veggies, proteins, and grains you have kicking around in your fridge and pantry rather than spending the extra money to go out.  Seriously, check it out.  The soup guide is in the left column if you scroll down.  You can thank me later.

Tags: frozen meals, soup, supermom

Mind games

The writer of the book I’m currently reading, Jonni McCoy, is not a financial planner or anything like that.  According to the introduction she is a regular middle-class mom living in an expensive part of the country who simply wanted to be home with her kids.  Since a higher income wasn’t possible, she had to find ways to make the money they had work harder.  That’s why this book appeals to me right now.  There is not much possibility of us coming into more money in the immediate future.  Hopefully someday, but not today.  Probably not tomorrow either.  So, we need to stretch our dollars further.

To some, the words “saving” and “delayed gratification” and “used, er… pre-owned” are foreign.  The notion of spending and needing less is kind of an old-fashioned idea in today’s society.  Our country is all about bigger, better, newer, faster, flashier, and RIGHT NOW.  As I’ve been mulling over the ideas presented in this book and how to make it work for me, I’m realizing that the first step is to change my mentality.  Before any of this can work, I need to get in the right frame of mind.

Generally speaking, I think I could say that I do fairly well.  I don’t buy a lot of “stuff”: magazines, clothing, drinks, home decor, movies, etc.  However, I am all about anything that will make my life easier, such as pre-packaged and frozen convenience meals and snacks, or the occasional fast food run when we’re just too blasted tired to try to cook anything at home.  While I may be making my life easier in the short term by throwing a frozen pre-packaged burrito in the microwave, I need to look at the big picture and realize that I’m not making my life easier in the long run.  The more money I spend on convenience items, the more money I am going to have to make to pay for them, which means the more I am going to have to work.  The more I work, the less time I have to cook a real dinner, which means I will default to a convenience item.  It’s a vicious, vicious cycle, people.

So far the book has been focusing almost entirely on food expenses, since that is probably the biggest spending opportunity for most Americans.  I remember putting together a spreadsheet several months ago of our monthly expenses and discovering that we were spending more than $400 a month on groceries.  $400+ a month!  For two and a half people!  I about gagged on my frozen burrito when I saw that number.  Since then I’ve been trying to make more of an effort in my meal planning so we can cut down on the cost, but truth be told I haven’t exactly followed up and stayed on top of keeping track to see if its made a difference.

I’m hoping that if I start applying the ideas in Miserly Moms that I will be able to actually make some headway.  So, it begins!  Ms. Jonni has outlined Eleven Miserly Guidelines to get me on the way to financial freedom.  Guideline #1:  Don’t confuse frugality with depriving yourself.  And the bottom line to doing that?  Make sure your goals are worth more than anything else.  Is being debt-free your priority?  Quitting your job?  Maybe having a family?  Maybe it’s having more money to go see the world?  Whatever it is, it has to be better than anything else.  Better than getting your nails done regularly.  Better than take-out three times a week.  Better than a giant Diet Coke from the gas station every day.

For me, I want to be able to spend more time with my family.  That’s better than all the hair highlights in the world.  Yep, mind over matter.  I can do this.

What do you think?  What makes being frugal worth it to you?

Tags: priorities, sacrfices

Excel spreadsheets, here I come…

I would venture to say that I’ve always been fairly good with my money.  I like to pat myself on the back when I see someone who is definitely not good with their money and feel thankful for the money smarts I have.  I generally am able to put off wants in order to meet our needs first, and I’ve always set money aside for savings.

However, I have never been a good with keeping a budget.  While I am always careful, I am not exact in my spending.  I could be more disciplined.

In fact, I need to be more disciplined.

The husband and I have goals.  A house that isn’t attached to someone else’s house, for example.  A garage (there aren’t many things I hate more than scraping ice off my windshield in the morning when it’s 2 degrees outside).  Not having both of us work full-time.  Taking our kids to the beach as they grow up.  A trip to Europe someday, hopefully.

Right now we live comfortably, if not lavishly.  But we have some debt weighing us down.  We both work- a little too hard it feels like at times.  I’d like to change that.  I’d like to get us to the point where our debt is gone and eventually I can stay home with my kiddos.

So, in order to accomplish this (as well as one of my new year’s resolutions!  I’m really sticking to them!), I’ve decided to start reading Miserly Moms: Living Well on Less in a Tough Economy for some tips on how to reach my goal.  So far I’m intrigued…and a little scared.  I see where the author is coming from, but can I really do it?  It’s not exactly easy, but it may be worth it.

Do you have a budget?  If so, how do you manage to stick to it?

Tags: book review, budget

The first review, part I

I’ve decided that the first book I will experiment with will be one on feeding my child, since I feel extraordinarily clueless in this department.  You’d think it would be pretty easy and straightforward, but now that she is eating mainly solids and largely eschewing pureed baby food, I’m kind of at a loss.  She only has about 5 1/2 teeth, so she limited in what she can chew.  Add to that the fact that she is a very busy baby and often finds exploring her world far more beneficial than eating and I’m really in a bind.

I think my anxiety is compounded by the fact that last semester I took a basic nutrition class, which was interesting and informative, but it has me all worried about eating a balanced, healthy diet.  It has me even more worried that I am not providing my daughter a balanced and healthy diet, because surely she needs it more than even I because she is growing and developing, and what mother doesn’t want her child to have every advantage possible in this difficult world?

My nutrition book often touched on the fact that after 6 months of age a child’s iron stores can become depleted and it is often worsened by having a milk-heavy diet.  Toddlers tend to love milk, and will often fill up on that rather than eat their meals.  While little ones need several ounces of milk a day, it shouldn’t be their main food source anymore.    Sometimes I’ll watch Claire drink her milk and the words milk-heavy diet… milk-heavy diet…will circle in my brain, causing me to get all sorts of knots in my stomach and wondering  whether or not she is depleting her iron stores that very moment and will soon become anemic.

So, I picked up a book at the library and dove in.  For this installment I’ve decided to read the book Feeding: The Brazelton Way, by T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., and Joshua D. Sparrow, M.D.  Dr. Brazelton is a tenured pediatrician and a Clinical Professor of Pediatrics Emeritus at Harvard Medical School, and Dr. Sparrow is an Assistant Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, so I’m assuming these guys know their stuff.  They’ve written several other books on topics such as sleeping, soothing a fussy baby, potty training, etc.

Speaking of people named Sparrow…did you hear that Nicole Richie had a baby boy and named him Sparrow- as his first name? No offense if you decided to name your litlle boy Sparrow, I’m sure he’s a gem, but I think that poor kid is headed for some wedgies and good poundings on the playground due to his sissy name.  Anyway, enough of potentially offending people.  Back to the subject…

So I’m about halfway through the book and there have been some good tips and interesting thoughts, as well as a few things I think may not apply to all babies.  Dr. Brazelton starts out by talking about the importance of using feedings as a valuable time to bond and interact with your baby and to help further their development.  He mentions that as the child grows and begins to feed himself, the parent may have a difficult time letting go and allowing the child independence during feedings, but it is important to do so.  I will admit that while I sometimes love that Claire can feed herself and can eat a variety of foods, I often miss the quiet times we had on the couch together where she would grip my thumb and little finger with her tiny hands, eyes half closed, as I fed her a bottle.  I loved being able to put her over my shoulder and snuggle with her as I patted her back.  She still gets a couple of bottles a day, and I adore that rare time when she’ll sit contentedly on my lap without squirming to reach or grab or crawl away.  I love seeing her so relaxed, eyes half closed again, clutching and rubbing her blankie as I feed her a bottle.  She can hold her bottle on her own, but I love holding it for her.  I dread the day when I have to take away the bottle completely and those sweet, quiet times will vanish. Throughout the book Dr. Brazelton frequently touches not only on the child’s ongoing development with the feeding process, but on the parent’s as well.  I have a lot to learn about letting my baby grow up.

Oh dear, speaking of my baby, it sounds like someone is awake.  I’ll have to dive into this later.  Stay tuned!

Tags: book review, feeding