The fun never stops around here

As the snow started melting a few weeks ago we noticed our tiny backyard looked rather different.  We put grass in a couple of years ago, and last fall it looked just fine.  Now, it looks like this:

This, my friends, is the work of a vole, a hamster/mouse-like rodent that burrows and eats roots and grass.  For a couple of weeks we could not figure out what sort of creature would make runways in the grass.  Then one day recently I saw it poking it’s little head out of one of the holes, causing a scramble by my husband to exterminate the rodent.  He tried drowning it by sticking the hose down one of the holes, but it soon emerged soaking wet from another hole and began scurrying along it’s little runways, my husband dousing it with water the whole time.  The thing suddenly made a dash for the open doorway, where our daughter was sitting in her highchair.  With a flying leap Brady jumped onto the patio and sprayed the vole into hiding under our BBQ.  When he came down the steps to inspect it, the vole charged him, causing him to let out a scream, leap back onto the patio, and spray it with water more vigorously.  The vole then disappeared down another hole and we haven’t seen it since.

Well!  Cut to last Saturday.  After returning home from the blogger brunch I attended, I was showing my mom (who was kind enough to baby-sit) the damage the vole had done to our backyard.  As she was looking out the window she suddenly exclaimed, “Rache!  There’s a snake out there!”  I dashed to the window, and to my horror there was indeed a snake just chillin’ on the grass.  Oddly, the first thing that popped into my mind was well I hope it ate the vole! But then reality hit again: there was a SNAKE six feet away from my house.  At least this time it wasn’t IN my house, but if one got in before, this one could too.

My petite, super-brave little mother marched right out there with a rake and told me to get a trash bag.  Already shaking, I handed it to her and was about to dash inside, but the wind was blowing and she couldn’t could the bag open and scoop the snake in at the same time and needed help.  I tried to pawn it off on Claire, but she turned me down.  Slacker!  Darn kid needs to start earning her keep around this place.

I hope none of my neighbors were out, because they would’ve overheard this:

mom:  Ok, just hold the bag open…come on snake…ooh, yuck…come on…

me:  ohmygoshohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!

mom:  ok, almost got him!  Now, Rache, just hold the bag open-

me:  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

mom:  Crap!  Lost him, ok here we go.  Haha!  Ok.  Rache, hold the bag- yeah, just hold the bag open-

me:  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

mom: Rache, come on, just hold the bag open!  Just like that!  Haha!  Ok, I think I’ve got him!  Crap, you can’t drop the bag!  Just hold it open for a sec…

me:  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

As you can tell, I was a huge help.

By some magic we were able to get the horrid thing into a bag and tie it off and throw it in the dumpster down the street.  I didn’t know what else to do with it.  And it smelled. The snake, that is, not the dumpster.  Well actually, yes, the dumpster did too, but you know what I mean.  Have you ever heard of a snake smelling bad?

So.Gross.

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