09
Feb

Sucker punched

Sometimes motherhood is just a big punch in the gut.

You carry the baby inside you for 9 months.  You’re exhausted, sick, misshapen, and swollen.  You lovingly note every kick and turn and anticipate the day the discomfort will all pay off.

You endure pain and stitches and sleepless night after sleepless night.  You change diapers and cuddle and coo and rock and sway and bounce and then you do it all again.

You love.

And you worry.  Oh, how you worry!  And you know the worry will never end.

And you love some more.

And then…

Cold, hard REJECTION.  Your toddler that you nurtured and sacrificed for and loved and worried about wants nothing to do with you.  She buries her face into her daddy’s shoulder when you try to say hi to her in the morning.  She bypasses you as she reaches her arms out to be held by her daddy.  She bawls when he leaves in the morning and pushes you away.

KID, I AM YOUR MOTHER.

Did I do something wrong?  Do I not sing enough songs or make enough silly faces?  Are my hugs inferior?

The guilt sets in.  Maybe I’m too impatient.  Maybe I’m not around enough.  I work too much…maybe…maybe…maybe…

Or maybe it’s just a classic case of a Daddy’s Girl.  And I am grateful that my girl has a daddy who loves her.

All I can say is my future boys better be Mama’s Boys.

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One Response to “Sucker punched”

  1. Toni
    09Feb

    So, I hope you’re not upset that I happened upon your blog here. I had heard about it, but haven’t seen it until today. You’re so funny, and I’m learning things about you that I didn’t know before. You truly are a busy woman! I always felt like I was the one keeping our friendship going, and I thought that maybe I was getting phased out. It sounds like I was mistaken (hopefully, fingers crossed) and that you are the most busy woman on the planet with work, school, and being a full-time mom. I enjoyed our friendship and wish we could have had more time to hang out. Maybe one day we’ll love close to each other again and have some time to play. I hope everything is going well for you!

    P.S. That story about Brady chasing the vole… priceless!!

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