Oct
Sweet dreams
One of the biggest challenges we’ve faced with our daughter is sleep. She is over a year old now, and still rarely sleeps through the night. At one point, as an infant, she would often wake up 6+ times a night. As you can imagine, we felt like zombies. And believe me, we tried everything, at least it seemed that way. She just isn’t a good sleeper, end of story.
The hubby and I often fantasize about sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep… An uninterrupted eight hours of blissful shut-eye…
But, you know what? These days, I don’t really mind getting up with my little girl at 4:00 in the morning. I groan as I hear her cries floating from the other room, mentally willing her to just go back to sleep. I sigh as I roll out of bed. Now that it is getting colder leaving my warm bed carries even more of a sting than it did before, and I groan again.
I stumble into my baby’s room, one eye barely cracked as I approach the crib, where she is standing with arms outreached for me. I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but scoop her up with her beloved blankie and sit down to rock her in the dark.
It’s a rare and precious moment. She is still- something that never happens through the course of the day anymore. I cuddle her, my arms full of baby. I look at her long legs draped across my lap, her feet dangling off the edge, and I think about how she used to fit on just one arm of mine.
We rock quietly, and I can hear her give a deep and contented sigh. Her soft body rises and falls with her breaths, and without realizing it I rock to the rythm of her breathing.
When I can tell she is good and sleepy, I carefully stand up to place her in her crib, whispering “night-night” to her again before I tip-toe out.
As I slide back under my comforter, I feel relieved that she is asleep and cross my fingers she will stay in that state for a few more hours. At the same time though, I am grateful for the peaceful moment spent together in the dark. I feel a warmth spread through me as I recall her long eyelashes resting on her cheeks, the shape of her mouth as she drifts to sleep.
Sometimes, when she does sleep through the night, I miss her.
She won’t need me for much longer. Eventually she will be a “big girl”. Independent, unafraid, and happy to be on her own. And when that happens, I will probably lie awake at night, wishing I could go in to cuddle her in the quiet darkness.
20Oct
So sweet!! I loved this because as a mom it IS really hard not to get sleep, but at the same time those moments really are precious. Jordan sleeps through the night now and doesn’t need me anymore, so I’m trying to just enjoy the moments right now with Jackson.